The drive back home that day was the toughest one. I had just met my school friends after years, some of them I met after 25 years. I was elated to go down the memory lane and be a young girl again. The café where we all met buzzed with our chitter-chatter and we were the centre of attraction. What an amazing day it was! So, what could possibly go wrong? Well, more than happy, I felt lost. I felt lost as I was unable to recognize the girl that my friends told me I was. I could hardly remember her. Seems I hadn’t met her in ages. I felt dispirited.
Have you ever met people after decades, and realized that they seem to know you more than you know yourself?
You might know the person who you see in the mirror, but is that really you?
Have you lost yourself somewhere? Do you also feel like this, or is it just me?
What happened? Why are you unable to recognize yourself?
So, my dejected self went on the search to find this answer. No, I didn’t take any expedition. It was just a search into my soul, my inner self.
During our childhood and in our youth, we are at our carefree best. That’s the real us, with no inhibitions or pretence. Then life changes and expectations cloud over our real persona. We slowly become what people around expect us to be, not realizing that the one person who matters the most is being left behind. Life catches speed and we struggle to keep pace. We end up befitting ourselves to a complex outcome, of all those who we have been connected to, and to the world in which we have lived.
Years pass and we can see a by-product of the various situations, in the mirror. A face that smiles back at you, but is still NOT YOU.
Over the past several years, I have read and heard from many people that they are unsatisfied with what they’re currently doing. I’ve heard from several people that they’d like to do something that makes them happy and content.
But why do they think like that? I thought they were earning well, had a beautiful family, a good status in the society; so WHY?
Then my mind dragged me to something that I read when I was pursuing my masters in psychology. I had heard that term numerous times, but understood it when I too experienced it. A term that clearly defines the emotional turmoil and the struggle we individuals face for our own morality and happiness. A term called “Mid-life Crisis”.
The emotional turmoil some people experience during midlife doesn’t always lead to major lifestyle changes that involve the desire to be young again. In fact, a midlife crisis could turn into something positive. For me it turned into the journey of discovering myself.
Well, having said that, studies have also proven that all people do not go through this crisis. So, we cannot generalize it. But people who do go through this, surely go on a search for their own identity and happiness. Though I personally believe there’s no age for this crisis, but when half our life is over, we look for our real self and our real purpose in life.
And that’s when we realize that we lost ourselves somewhere in the process.
So, what do you do?
Just look within my dear. The person you really are, may be hidden within the layers you have built over the years. All you need to do is uncover the real you. Don’t stop yourself; your mind is the only barrier that’ll stop you from knowing yourself again. The person is right there, all you need to do is shake him/her up from the sleep.
That drive back home made me go into some serious introspection. I realized I had left myself far behind and had become what my world wanted me to be; living its expectations, creating my own barriers, and unnecessarily pushing and punishing myself.
I did nothing exceptional, but just took simple baby steps to get myself back. You can do the same and be surprised with the person that stands in front of you.
- Spend time with yourself and do little things that make you happy.
- Connect with people you left behind.
- Compliment yourself and realize your strengths.
- Try to see good in all around you and accepted situations and people the way they are.
- Spend more time on your relationships and on the person who you are.
- Nurture your mind and have positive and fun conversations.
- Invest in yourself in different ways.
- Contribute to people and situations selflessly.
- Empower yourself with positivity and dreams.
Of, course I didn’t isolate myself from the world. But I just met myself after years. The person was not the same that the young girl was, but I did find myself. I met myself.
I met the NEW ME.
WHEN DID YOU LAST MEET YOURSELF?
I would love to hear from you about your journey to find yourself. Do leave a comment and share your story.
And if you’re still trying to find yourself, let me accompany you in your journey.
I’m Nidhi, your Self-Empowerment Coach and Companion.